I’ve started noticing something. Whenever the topic of sex toys for men comes up with other guys, you either get a chuckle or an immediate “not for me.” So I asked r/SexToys a simple question: before you knew better, what was the first thing that came to mind?
Twenty-one men answered. The responses were honest, a little funny, and surprisingly consistent.
Fleshlights. Strokers. Blow-up dolls. Anything that simulates a vagina.
“Stroking toys like the Fleshlight.” “Masturbators and blow-up dolls.” “Pocket pussy toys — specifically the very realistic ones.”
One guy admitted he used to DIY it: a rubber glove, a sponge, and a tube of some sort. Cheap and single use. Ingenious, honestly.
The assumption was almost universal: sex toys for men meant one thing — solo simulation of penetrative sex. Simple, functional, slightly embarrassing.
But here’s where it gets interesting.
The Category Is Way Bigger Than You Think
A researcher named Jon Millward once analyzed one million sex toy sales from a major UK retailer. What he found challenges almost everything most men assume about who buys what.
Men don’t just buy masturbators. Men buy across nearly every category — including ones most people assume are female territory.
Butt plugs? Men are the majority buyer. Every single butt plug sub-category skews male. And it’s not just gay men — single straight men buy butt plugs at a higher rate than straight men in relationships, and at nearly twice the rate of single straight women.
Dildos? Men buy larger ones at a higher rate than women. Over 7.5 inches, men lead the purchases regardless of sexual orientation.
Anal toys, anal lubes, douches — men dominate every sub-category.
One commenter in our thread put it simply: “Most women’s toys are men’s toys also.” He’s more right than he knows.
The Discovery Happens Fast
What’s consistent across the thread — and across the data — is that men who actually explore the category quickly realize how limited their first instinct was.
One guy picked up a Tenga while his wife was on a work trip. He started because she used vibrators. He’s still going. “They’re great add-ons. My wife has learned quite a bit about me and what I enjoy — just as I’ve learned from watching her.”
Another found his way to anal toys first. He was open about it with his friends. “Interestingly, not all of them made much noise about it. Which leads me to believe they probably do similar.”
The pattern is the same every time: first instinct is narrow, reality is wide.
The Real First Step
The actual first toy most men buy? According to both the thread and the Millward data: a masturbator. Fleshlights, Tengas, strokers. That part of the assumption is right.
But it’s rarely where they stay.
The category expands quickly once you’re in it — different sensations, different purposes, couple-friendly options, prostate play, vibration, tech. The sleeve was just the dock. The voyage goes a lot further.
That’s kind of what Hello Sailor is about.
Chart new waters. Explore without limits.
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